you vs feelings

I admit being an unrepentant bastard who spares no attention for things around me. I always take things for granted and am a connoiseur of lies and deception. I'm even more unsure as to why I'm embracing the beauty of lying and deceiving.

I'm just like you people and am no saint.

Yes, many a time I keep mum and spares no thought or get defensive when I'm being missle at. I really am fine with that because deep within myself, I know I'm severely flawed. Be it personality, character, or whatsoever it is, I know I have serious problems myself.

There ain't any cure to all of these, but like what my buddy have mentioned "the lack of perseverance" is probably the biggest culprit. No medicine can heal me of my flaws, no surgery can even help to remove these atrocious behavioural traits.

Prosecute that guilty subject and all will be fine!

Is it really that easy?

Is benign neglect the ultimatum for me to regain normalcy?

Seriously, I'm just as clueless.



Someone: "Things happened for a reason."

Me: "What reason?"

It abruptly ended there.

It was a rude interference by me to someone who've dissed me romantically.



Come to think again, I was obsessed with these few questions that I've been asking myself daily:

"Why am I doing this for?"

"What is it that I really want?"

"Do I do this because I want to?"

and lastly,

"I want to do this because I want to"



It's getting a little strange, but not to the capacity of self-decimation yet.

I don't need any help, because all of which was required has been rendered.

I need to think right before I even get to do things right.

Give me some time, Allow me some time.