Auld Lang Syne.

Reloading...
There comes a particular period of time in the year when the masses actually undergo some sort of retrospective mood in their lives. A kind of mass exodus of minds from the status quo into the future - near or far. A promising kind of feeling that transcends the crappy situation that you are in right now; giving the current bright spark a seemingly rosier picture for times to come.

And that particular period, ladies and gentlemen, are the days leading up to the new year.

The flurry of resolutions, be it private or announced publicly, has this indispensable effect in acting as a panacea to all our problems. The psychological impact from the wishes and images of serenity and better prospects serve to elevate us from the sticky situation in reality, into the endless possibilities that generate in the mind from a future that has yet to come. It is the power of yearning. and the net force tht results from that yearning is a cure for the besieged soul; a soul inundated by problems, overwhelmed by the intricacies of God's gift.

Verily the power in which it exudes, quintessentially lies in the fact that the future hasn't happened.

The individual may take a problem into his or her stride, but what the individual cannot help is the thought of the conclusion that beckons. Double edged ending? A blunt anti-climax? Or simply a fiasco waiting to happen? The myriad possibilites are laid on a platter on the grey matter up in his head; something that could potentially lead to instability and insecureness. On the other hand, something that could be used to propel oneself into a pedestal of excellence. The latter, is a form of resolution psychologically (and practically) worth investing in. Serves to conjure up the perfect ending, whilst making the psyche undergo a more bearable ezperience during a tumultous period.

A warm and fuzzy feeling of better days to come in the lead up to the new year is a feeling we all go through; a cheerfulness and optimism in which we cannot help. The manifestations are endless as we scour form individual to individual. a common occurence commercially exported through the media, through friends, foe or family. But let us not forget about the good old days, the auld lang syne. The fistful of moments that take our breath away. Let us take the enthusiasm and bullishness that emanates from the psychological phenomena of the incipient new year and carry it on into the next 365 days.

So here's to a new year, pop a bottle of champagne (not recommended for my muslims friends), light up a cigar, party till dawn, have that poignant transition under the stars, mope around, blow balloons, or simply stay traditional and watch the party animals go all out from the comforts of your living room.

A blessed new year and an awesome transition to you.

you vs feelings

I admit being an unrepentant bastard who spares no attention for things around me. I always take things for granted and am a connoiseur of lies and deception. I'm even more unsure as to why I'm embracing the beauty of lying and deceiving.

I'm just like you people and am no saint.

Yes, many a time I keep mum and spares no thought or get defensive when I'm being missle at. I really am fine with that because deep within myself, I know I'm severely flawed. Be it personality, character, or whatsoever it is, I know I have serious problems myself.

There ain't any cure to all of these, but like what my buddy have mentioned "the lack of perseverance" is probably the biggest culprit. No medicine can heal me of my flaws, no surgery can even help to remove these atrocious behavioural traits.

Prosecute that guilty subject and all will be fine!

Is it really that easy?

Is benign neglect the ultimatum for me to regain normalcy?

Seriously, I'm just as clueless.



Someone: "Things happened for a reason."

Me: "What reason?"

It abruptly ended there.

It was a rude interference by me to someone who've dissed me romantically.



Come to think again, I was obsessed with these few questions that I've been asking myself daily:

"Why am I doing this for?"

"What is it that I really want?"

"Do I do this because I want to?"

and lastly,

"I want to do this because I want to"



It's getting a little strange, but not to the capacity of self-decimation yet.

I don't need any help, because all of which was required has been rendered.

I need to think right before I even get to do things right.

Give me some time, Allow me some time.

Say hello to the latter,

I've never harboured thoughts of making my love life a clandestine affair, and in this instance I can't be more proud to say I've nearly completed my life's equation with my denominator.

This is not a promotional advertisement of my latest acquisition, but a little tribute for my belief and utmost love for the latter.

I'm telling you people what an important person in my life means to me, so do you have an important person worth tributing too?

I won't say how much the latter loves me, because it's so incredible that even the most profound or appropriate words can only undermine this love.

People, tell me you're envious.

But let me tell you all, I love the latter.

p/s: the latter refers to someone, not a thing and sadly, we're no more - irony, much?

Saya dicabar untuk menulis dalam bahasa melayu pada entry yang seterusnya. Mati.

Creativity : Best served with depression.

because every breath is a sin



Depression,

Makes you do crazy things,
Makes you see things in a different light,
Drives you to the threshold of tolerance,
Makes you wonder if life is about such,
Let you know what is more worthwhile,
Is a getaway from that overdosage of fake happiness,
Should be handled with care,
Comes when you're emotions are epitomised,
Is good; if you need creativity

English class, anyone?

the next time you wish to post comments on FB,
please, just for once, think about this entry.



Okay.
I'm sick of this.

Facebook has been chewed up and spit out like
bad bacon by people of the world. Why? The bad use of
English, the act of retardedism and most
importantly, the disgusting and unfathomable
pictures of you guys acting cute.

Puffing up your cheeks DOES NOT make you look
cute. It just emphasises on how you're trying to
hold back a burp. You look like a pufferfish. A
moronic pufferfish.

Taking a shot from the top is alright, but do not
ever open your eyes super wide and act cute.
Never. It freaks people out, gives hentai lovers a
description of how you're begging to get your face
sprayed all over with cum. Oh yeah, you look like
a dog too. My dog. So bark?

DO NOT EVER DO HAND GESTURES. It just
symbolises on your stupidity and how you are
trying so hard to speak 'Retard' in sign language.

euu; miie; blahblahblahinserthereenlongatedword.
They are creative, so to speak, but when you write
compositions, you don't spell them like that, do
you? I'd rather you take the time to spell every
word correctly and leave a good impression on
foreigners, than leave your dimwit-slime all over.

Get your grammar and vocabulary right. "Love
hurts", not "Love hurt".

What is up with the how "moii" thing? Moi is a
french word - stop abusing that word, lest the
french invade. Do you actually use that word in
your real life conversations? Do you know how to
pronounce it? And if you do, it's not "mu-oi".
It's "muah", you moron.

I merely want you all to change for the better of not
only the country, but for your own sake too. But
hey, read on.

Whoever doesn't sign admits the fact that he/she
has condemned himself or herself to my list of so-
to-speak dumbpricks and/or crackheads. Inducing
on that fact, you are also welcome to my full list of
insults, garbage and junk. If I have offended any of
you, you are a loser as you are easily agitated by
just a silly opinion of mine.

To my friends: If you do type/act like the above,
please try to change. I'm not forcing, just
requesting. If not, bah.

truth.

I have got to shake up certain things up regarding my life. I guess there're a lot of occurences that I didn't see coming. These occurrences are taking a toll on me, psychologically, physically and mentally. I think I've been sleeping more than usual which is weird for an insomniac like I am. After yesterday's talk, I think I've come to a final verdict about myself - something I ought to mention for some sort of justice to myself after years of self-deprecation in front of myself and others.

I'm not a person who take things very seriously and this is exactly a two-edged sword that's served me well over the yesteryears since the onset of maturity and rationale. This is something that has kept me sane without much qualms and I feel I do possess this something that not many are equipped with. Something that is cultivated through years of humilty regarding my Bangla-look (pft!) and my willingness to face the reality of it. Whatever intelligence quotient I acquired is fully attributed to the genes bequeathed to me by my parents and National Geographic Channel.

My current outlook on life is pretty much conservative. Honestly, I am just an average warm-blooded slightly above aged teenager who watches soccer and porn intermittently from all the testosterone, indulges in selfishness once in a while sometimes more often than I should, visit my family at over at their place. I do not club anymore (since 3 years ago) and I do not do alcohol anymore despite being very open about it.

In a relationship, I'm someone who absorbs a lot - any ill-feelings and negativity that arises and emanates from the relationship. I do not deny that I contributed to a lot of it as well. Sometimes lack of seriousness and tendency to avoid the possibility of awkwardness from a full blown fiasco torrents the significant other. Sometimes I cannot help it because I really want things to be normal around. A sad face, angry words or a cold shoulder never belongs to the natural order of things in my world. It happens but it's something that should never be a regular feature. Sadness and grief should only be sanctioned with the passing of a loved one or when someone crashes your ride.

After being in the last relationships, I think it's time to drill it into myself that in essence I can never be sustainable at the way things are. Last night when I dropped the bomb, it still haunts me - and I think it's gonna be for long. The expression that was created, the emotions that were unleashed and the grief - which I said earlier should only be reserved for two instances - that became apparent. I'd never forgive myself for something like that and God forbid I enter another one in the future with the memory of it still lingering in the crevices of my mind. I do miss the latter very much but the latter doesn't want to work to save the relationship anymore. There's no way I can salvage anything, the misdeed was done - and the consequence that arises from it has completed it full circle back towards, yours truly.

Yes, and you realize there weren't any pictures because I love Times New Roman so much, okay fine, no. Blogger's a bitch, there were problems with the posting of pictures.

Till then,
Au Revoir.

Rebirth.

"as my soul heals the sham, i will grow through this pain.
lord, i'm doing all i can, to be a better man."



Ain't it funny when certain things that happen around us reminds us of songs. Like there's this inextricable link between occurrences and songs.

I was stirring up a cup of hot tea a while ago and consciously I inhaled the crisp air from the rain outside, almost immediately Robbie William's Better Man got into my head. Then I had visions of the times back in my university day, walking through the corridors with friends, walking through the lacklustre corridors facing the lecturer's rooms. And then when the chorus came in, somehow what just happened recently, flashes through my mind like a montage. I want, or at least I tried, to be a better man.

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

I'm just having this withdrawal symptoms. Something everybody has if something they loved get taken away from them.
I'm not gonna be hypocritical and say everything's alright, in fact nothing is. But one thing's for sure, I believe in destiny. Things happened for a reason. So while, I heal my sorrow with Robbie William's, we'll just see what happen next.

*claps like a gospels in a trance.